This is no ordinary episode guide, it contains a synopsis of each episode but also critiques and other unique observations and designations. 


Season 3










44     Steele at It     3x1     9/25/84                    Writer:Jeff Melvoin

Steele is back to his thieving ways as the agency vacations on the French Riviera, then he and Laura must investigate his own theft of the Habsburg dagger.

Critique: Great season opener as usual, sadly it's the same Laura and Steele discussion we've seen multiple times, I should have made an icon for every time they mention "mixing business with pleasure."   My  grade was just going to be an "A" but the fact that Brosnan finally got a decent haircut bumps this one up to an...    A+

Ridiculous Moment: Thank goodness there was a tandem bike available to steal, I can't believe their luck in crashing into that conveniently placed cliché fruit stand. 

80’s Flashback:  Laura’s gaucho jumpsuit 

Back Story:  Misspent youth as a smuggler in the French Rivera       

Alias: John Robey, Francis Stevens

(Mildred, choir director, Joelle)L        < What are these things??


45     Lofty Steele     3x2     10/2/84                    Writer: Brad Kern

There is a hidden surprise somewhere in Laura's loft and someone is trying to keep her out of the way.  Meanwhile her P.I. lifestyle is not gaining her any friendships with her neighbors.

Critique: I think I liked it, but I don't know why.    B

Ridiculous Moment: Seems like a good time to ask whatever happened to Laura's cat.  
                                   Robots? Really?

80’s Flashback: Boom box bungee corded to a bike



46     Maltese Steele     3x3     10/16/84                     Writer: John Wirth

Laura and Steele search for a missing body on the island of Malta, but find an insignificant piece of brass that could get them killed.

Critique: A great location does wonders for an episode, and I may be a simpleton but I enjoy a dumbed down mystery.        A-

Ridiculous Moment: Chasing a hawk across Malta...thank goodness there were 2 jet ski's with keys available to get across that lake.

Alias: Mr. St. Albens

80’s Flashback: Flip up that Polo collar!

(shot at)(Steele) ScreamsS


47     Second Base Steele     3x4     10/23/84                     Writer:Rick Mittleman

A reunion of high-school athletes at an adult baseball camp is marred by a series of "accidents" that Laura and Steele are hired to investigate.

Critique: I couldn't do it, it was just too awful, after the first 5 minutes I had to just squint through my hand over my eyes as I fast forwarded to the end.  

Ridiculous Moment: Really this concept got green lit?  I'd hate to see what Gleason didn't let get through.

Casting: Hey it's some guys from classic baseball.

(I'm just guessing at some point this happened)


48     Blue Blooded Steele     3x5     10/30/84                    Writer: John Wirth, Brady Westwater, John Pashdag

Laura secretly follows Steele back to England where Daniel Chalmers is about to cash in on a con set in place years ago where Steele is in line to inherit an English title and it's fortune.

Critique: This show really is best when in an international setting (even when they are faking it), it prohibits it from turning to ridiculous and gives it an air of credibility.  Chalmers is always a great addition, I love him giving Laura the Darth Vader cross over to the dark side treatment.       A-

Ridiculous Moment/80's Flashback: Mildred I'm sorry, if Laura can't pull off wearing a headband there is no way you can.  

Alias: Myrtle Groggins, Reginold Whitewood

Back Story: Harry and Chalmers set this inheritance con up years ago in England.

(shot at, falling chandelier, poison- Steele)


49     Steele Your Heart Away     3x6     11/13/84                   Writer: Brian Clemens

Laura flies off to help an amnesiac Steele recall why he came to Ireland and why someone is trying to kill him.

Critique: Two in a row in the UK, with someone trying to kill Steele. Maybe a little too similar but how can you not love this one.  The story is all about the main character instead of some weekly guest star's lame mystery.  A

Ridiculous Moment: Amnesia is the plot as old as time, what makes it worse is the hit to bring him back (although it is funny as Mildred's idea all along).  With this logic, every other episode Steele would lose his memory because that's how often he gets hit in the head. I'd have to make a new icon for when he would lose and/or get the memory back.
Mildred has been in Europe for three separate episodes yet still doesn't know they have different outlets?

Back Story: A mysterious pocket watch from Steele's father sends him back to Ireland.

(shot at)(musical watch)


50     A Pocketful of Steele     3x7     11/20/84                    Writer: Brad Kern

Steele tries to help a street-wise kid who picks his pocket and grabs evidence that a loan shark will do anything to retrieve.

Critique: Even though that's kid's giant fro is distracting it's overall a good story combining Steele and his pickpocket beginnings.    B+

Back Story: Former Pickpocket

Casting: Hey it's the devil from "Reaper" or currently a guy on "Mad Men".  Hey it's "Deep Throat" from The X-Files.  Hey it's "X" from "The X-Files" .  Hey it's the kid from "Voyagers".

(shot at,car)


51     Puzzled Steele     3x8     11/27/84                    Story: Dennis Spooner, Jeff Melvoin, Brian Clemens

In the exotic Mediterranean Laura and Steele accept the invitation of an eccentric millionaire to compete in finding a missing journalist but find they are pawns in an elaborate game.

Critique: I'll forgive the reuse of the competition concept since it is such a winner both times.     A

Ridiculous Moment: Seriously, all of these exotic locales and Laura still isn't giving it up? It's always been an unbelievable scenario but it has moved well into ridiculous at this point.  If a guy saves you from getting gang raped by a bunch of sailors, you kind of owe him.

80's Flashback: Guess jeans and shorts, neon colors and pegged!  Actually those are very big right now, if they weren't up to her neck Laura would totally be stylin' by today's standards.(shot at)


52     Cast in Steele     3x9     12/4/84                    Writer: Jeff Melvoin

The agency tracks menacing fan mail to investigate who is seemingly trying to kill 3 classic film stars.

Critique: Kind of a yawn, and I've never been a fan of the flashback storytelling method.        C

Ridiculous Moment: Wait, they are working for free? They seem to be spending time on a lot of cases for no money.  That can't be a successful business model.  Perhaps this is what really doomed "The Laura Holt Agency"

(shot at, car, suffocation, giant tiki)


53     Breath of Steele     3x10     12/11/84                    Writer: John Wirth

A killer pursues the singing telegram girls who can identify him as the killer of the head of a breath spray company.

Critique: Who thinks of this storyline? (That's actually kind of a compliment)    C

Ridiculous Moment: Think you showed those girls working out long enough?

Casting: Hey it's that lawyer from Night Court

54     Let's Steele a Plot     3x11     12/18/84                    Writer: Joe Gores, Richard De Roy

Laura and Steele must question a diverse group of writers as the likely suspects when they investigate the embezzlement of a mystery-writer's guild treasury.

Critique: These characters are awful, as is the lame story.  Laura's fascination with Butch saved this from a complete disaster.    D

Ridiculous Moment: A runaway wheelchair? Ugh. 
A stereotypical, cartoonishly cliché group of writers, I was expecting a children's book writer to be an actual child.  I'm getting a cartoonish mental picture of the writers of this episode, they look a lot like Curious George. 

L(Laura-doorbell/Steele) (shot at, ambulance)


55     Gourmet Steele     3x12     1/8/85                    Writer: Bob Shayne

Steele inadvertently goes undercover as the restaurant critic they've been hired to find, and who has incensed several restaurant owners with his blistering reviews.

Critique: Eh, it's OK.        C+?

Ridiculous Moment: Mildred hits a suspect for no reason other than revenge I guess, at least have the guy make a run for it first, doesn't she know how the Remington Roundup works?



56     Stronger Than Steele     3x13     1/15/85                    Writer: Kerry Lenhart, John J. Sakmar

A Classic TV star possessive of his old role is the prime suspect in a murder, but big fan Laura Holt takes on the case.

Critique: This was an up and down roller coaster of ridiculous vs. awesomeness.  Kind of like the Remington Steele show itself.  It started out with the silly costume but I let it slide, then it ticks back up with Laura and Steele's conflict of TV vs. movies, one I personally adore, but then it turns back to silly with the decoder ring debacle, but wait, with the convention it's gets better, then the great Laura story about her dad ends the show in the plus column.    B-

Ridiculous Moment: The concept of the Atomic Man isn't far fetched or anything it just seems ridiculous for this show.  I'm glad to see Laura quoting from TV shows like Columbo, it's only fair they rip off TV as well as movies.

80's Flashback: That tiny portable TV, and that remote wired to the TV.


57     Have I Got a Steele For You     3x14 1/22/85                    Writer: Jeff Melvoin

Laura grows concerned over Steele's thrashings while investigating a shady doll company for an investor's wife.

Critique: Finally an acknowledgement of the dangers of P.I. work but I'm really, really regretting not doing the "business with pleasure" icon as I get more and more sick of hearing the same stale "B" story excuses, but combined with this dull "A" story the results are pretty bad.        C-

Ridiculous Moment: Steele gets a rare hard hit in the front of his head but doesn't get knocked out, I'm no doctor but at least for consistency he should get knocked out regardless of front or back.



58     Springtime For Steele     3x15     1/29/85                    Writer: John Wirth

The unexpected success of singer Rocky Sullivan threatens a little scheme cooked up by her managers and might get her killed.

Critique: So boring...must stay awake...zzzzzzz.  Even half asleep I figured out it was Betty half way through, and I never guess the murderer on these things.        D

Ridiculous Moment: Shame on the writers for bringing back characters just to get extra cash, Descoine is one thing but Rocky is so lame.

(shot at)


59     Steele in the Family     3x16     2/5/85                     Writer: Brady Kern

Mildred's nephew comes to visit but Steele figures out he's in the middle of a scheme that includes a hit man on the hunt for the body of the man he murdered.

Critique: Much better effort on this one.        B

(shot at)(Mildred and nephew)

60     Diced Steele     3x17     2/12/85                     Writer: Jeff Melvoin

The gang tracks stolen jewels to Las Vegas after Steele's attempt to win them in a bogus poker game fails putting an insurance investigator on the trail of Steele's past.

Critique: I think I love the non murder plots so much because it takes good writing to make them interesting, and this one has that.  It's so good I think they should have moved the show in "Season 5" to Vegas in a total show retool.       A+

Ridiculous Moment: The insurance company let them off the hook for the $150,000?  What universe is that? 
Clearly with the chocolate and the gambling Laura has an addictive personality but what would stop her from just hitting the blackjack tables on occasion to make up for the fact they often don't get paid for their cases?

Alias: Reggie Whitewood


61     Now You Steele it, Now You Don't     3x18     3/5/85                     Writer:  John Wirth

Laura feels used by a client when she finds out an importer commits suicide after she unknowingly delivers a blackmail message to him.

Critique: I love that the writer compliments his script in the dialog "What a wonderfully bizarre twist." Truth is it's a little too bizarre and the story is just all over the place.  The dvd commentary is relentlessly entertaining on this one and is way more harsh than even I could be.    C

Ridiculous Moment: In his delirium Steele imagines it's Laura hitting him, the idea is interesting, but in it's execution it's, I think, unintentionally funny.


62     Illustrated Steele     3x19     3/12/85                      Writer: Kerry Lenhart, John J. Sakmar

A young cartoonist finds his life threatened as the events of his strip start happening to him.

Critique: Clever and interesting but transparent.      B+

Alias: Dashing Dave and Dollface


63     Steele in the Chips     3x20     3/19/85                    Writer: Stephanie Zimbalist, Robin Bernheim

Multiple clients retain Laura and Steele to search for a man, then they discover the clients are also after his no calorie invention.

Critique: Yikes. I know it's harsh but I hate the silly.  I fast forwarded through a lot of the giant final chase. I never could get through the movie it's based on,  "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World", either.      D

Ridiculous Moment: So the tennis star waits until the end to seek another agency?  If an agency can't protect you from getting hit in the face in their own office then you should look elsewhere.
So I was watching and thinking this isn't good, but it can't get any more ridiculous, then came the marching band. That "D" is a gift.

Casting: Hey it's that chick from... wow I can't think of a single Geena Davis movie right now, it's late, I'm tired.  Hey it's that blond chick from Designing Women.



64     Steele Trying     3x21     5/7/85                     Writer: Michael Gleason

Steele creates an imaginary case to get Laura to San Francisco for a romantic weekend but the "case" turns real when they witness a murder.

Critique: Good stuff, cute and the "trap man" concept is unique.        A+

(shot at)(someone walks in)


65     Steele of Approval     3x22     5/14/85                    Writer: Brad Kern

Laura investigates the background of a senatorial candidate while Steele dodges an investigator from the state licensing board.

Critique: This may be the least amount of scenes Steele and Laura have ever had together and yet the episode still works very well.  Although I don't know if the intent was for me to be glad Steele left, Laura kind of deserved it at this point.        A

Ridiculous Moment: Why did Laura open the closet?  This drives me nuts.  Had there been a closet door ajar maybe, and hangers on the bed, some kind of room in disarray from packing then I could see her checking the closet, but why wouldn't she just assume he was out for the evening?
Laura's so very gentle break up speech is nice until you realize she's leaving him for another guy that she's already planned a trip to Mexico with.  Why didn't she mention that in her little speech?

80's Flashback: OMG that pink sweater with the palm tree on it!  So 80's and so inappropriate both for a romantic trip with a future senator or a dramatic scene where you discover your "boyfriend" finally wised up and left.  As if it couldn't get worse it also marks the first appearance of the 80's staple: shoulder pads!  

Casting: Hey it's Darren's boss from Bewitched.

(shot at)(nurse)L


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