SEASON 2

         BROTHER CAN YOU SPARE A BLONDE
David: You always this much fun this early in the morning?   Maddie: You're going to die wondering.
David: Maddie your losing your grip and I haven't even had a chance to sample it yet.

LADY IN THE IRON MASK

David: Baby you're the greatest.  
David: You know what your problem is? Maddie: I fear I'm looking at it.

MONEY TALKS MADDIE WALKS

David: Touch me...Your right if it's really love it's worth waiting for.  Maddie: I need a drink.
What's your game Mr. Addison?  David: Live fast die young, wear clean underwear.
David: Does felt feel? Do dice die?
David: Absolutely we're a team I'm the brains, she's the muscle.

THE DREAM SEQUENCE ALWAYS RINGS TWICE

Maddie: Are you just going to watch or do you plan to use that thing. David: She had quite a mouth on her. David: Which thing is that? David: Of course I wasn't exactly wanting in that department either.
David: Maybe I should have stayed away from her but she was like peanuts the more I had the more I wanted.
David: I always play my horn with my shirt off, late at night, by an open window  next to a  flashing neon light, I know I look good that way.

MY FAIR DAVID

Maddie: A man walks into a hardware store says I need a mousetrap I'm in a hurry I have to catch a bus. Hardware man says I'm sorry but I don't have a mousetrap big enough to catch a bus.
Maddie: When you lose what do I get? David: Moi.  Maddie: The whole thing or just your head on a platter.

KNOWING HER

David: Do math majors multiply? Do eggs get laid?
David: You could have fooled me. Maddie: A gnat with a lobotomy could fool you.
David: Maybe that's god's way of evening out the score. Gives you great looks ,terrific personality then he saves a couple of watts off the old light bulb.  Guess I can live with that.
David: You wanna hear something terrible.  Maddie: You aren't going to sing are you?
David: Hey partner what's shakin'? Besides you I mean.  Maddie: You're in my seat. David: Hey, there are children watching. 
David: You are your jealous. Maddie: Stop reasoning with your underwear.

SOMEWHERE UNDER THE RAINBOW

Leprechaun: Our magical powers work only at night. David: Night huh? Mine too.  Maddie: That man belongs in a pound. Agnes: Pound of what?

PORTRAIT OF MADDIE

Maddie: A man I never met killed himself last night.  David: A woman I never met had sex with a basketball team last night.
David: You are so beautiful when you get fiscal.  Maddie: Get your hand off my behind. David: Is that your behind? Is that my hand? Maddie: Would you get serious! David: Maddie I just had my hand on your behind if I get anymore serious they are going to move us to cable.
David: Any idea what he's looking for? Maddie: A clue. David: OK give me one.   Maddie: Game one what? David: Game a clue what he's looking for. Maddie: A clue! David: I'm waiting. Maddie: For what? David: To find out what the man is looking for. Maddie: The man is looking for a clue, a clue, a clue, a clue.  David: Gasundheit
David: Excuse me but it's 2:30 in the morning and I'd like to know why my colleague is being held and why isn't it by me?
Maddie: Stick it Addison!

ATLAS BELCHED

David: Say congratulation. Maddie: Congratulations. David: Say I can't believe you did it David. Maddie: I can't believe you did it David David: Say take me hold me use me abuse me....I gave it a shot.

TWAS THE EPISODE BEFORE CHRISTMAS  

Agnes: You know what miss Hayes? Maddie: What? Agnes There's no one I'd rather have children with than you.   
David: That is the last time I jam my self into a tight hole with clothes on. 
David: Many is the night I sat up thinking. Maddie: Imagine sitting and thinking.  David: and then it hit me.  Maddie: Left a bruise I hope. 
Maddie: I just want to scrape you off the bottom of my shoe. David: Hey wait a minute your not fooling me I know what that means. 
David: Dumb and dumber? We don't know a thing.  Maddie: Wait who's dumber? 

BRIDE OF TUPPERMAN

David: You know what I can't figure out? Maddie: Left from right? 
David: Give me a brunette astronaut  who like racquet ball, hold the breasts, to go , better yet I'll have her here! 
David: Uh oh. Go cut a switch looks like the woodshed for David. 

IN GOD WE STRONGLY SUSPECT

David: Does butter fly does a picket fence.  

EVERY DAUGHTER'S FATHER IS A VIRGIN

David: What can I say?  In english not much.  
Agnes: Mr. Addision I had no idea.  David: We've know that for a while Miss Depesto.  

WITNESS FOR THE EXECUTION

Maddie: David A. ...please come home... all is well... we love you and miss you... Maddie  

SLEEP TALKIN GUY

David: We're a team Maddie; Spinks and Homes, Sears and Roebuck, Heckle and Jeckle.  

FUNERAL FOR A DOORNAIL

David: One for the money ,two for the glitz, three to get ready now lets see some .. Maddie: David!  

CAMILLE 

David: Don't be funny it doesn't become me. 
David: Took the words right out of my mouth. Maddie:  Open Up I'll put 'em back. 
David: Chin up, shoulders back. Stick that chest out soldier. It's already way out, belay that, better still would you belay me? Maddie:  What are you doing here.  David:  It's payday isn't it? I always make it a point to come back to work after lunch on a payday. 

 

SEASON 1    SEASON 2    SEASON 3    SEASON 4    SEASON 5

 
 
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