SEASON 3

         THE SON ALSO RISES
David: Ola! Gringos and gringets.
David: The man  is my father, the man who taught me about shaving, about women, about shaving women.
David: This is a stick up, give me all your clothes and do it slowly eh? Maddie: You'll need a bigger gun.
Maddie: Could I see you in my office please?  David: See me what?

YOURS VERY DEADLY

David: You're not going to believe this but last night I started thinking. Maddie:  It's about time
David: I'd still like to end this show with her legs in the air.
David: Hey lady wanna lick my mail?

ALL CREATURES GREAT AND ...NOT SO GREAT

Maddie: I get trichinosis just looking at you.
Maddie:  Just think how I feel. David: I think about it all the time.
Maddie: Put this gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. David: Aren't you going to make me dig my own grave first.
David: The thing that denies death it's due, the procreative act, the beast with two backs. Maddie: Only you could turn the subject of cremation into a come-on.
Maddie: Fine, great, all of you go to Hell.

BIG MAN ON MULBERRY STREET

Maddie: I was looking forward to this funeral!

ATOMIC SHAKESPEARE

David: Do bears beareth? Does bees beeeth? 
David: We are kindred souls Kate, as mountains to wind. Each of us moves not, though the other blow perpetually.  More to the point, I saw me in thee.
David: Here's Pertrucio!
Maddie: Let go, unhand me! David: I'll try but I don't think they'll come off.
Bert: I'm off to win the fair Biannca. David: Go then until we meet again, somewhere in the forth act.

IT'S A WONDERFUL JOB

Maddie: Take that tree and shove it down your sack mack.
Maddie: I for one am glad David and Cheryl Tieggs are getting married. Angel: You are? Maddie: Absolutely, it'll save two other people.
Agnes: Xmas phone rhyme

 POLTERGEIST 3- DIPESTO NOTHING

Bert: We caught the murderer. David: So everybody lived happily ever after.  Agnes: Well no, almost everybody died.
David: You both have a severe tongue lashing coming. Now I offered to take your place I even offered to shower but she wouldn't hear of it.
Agnes: Journal entry number 17: I think I just wet my pants

BLONDE ON BLONDE 

David: Why are you looking so unhappy?  Maddie: My chastity belt is pinching me.
Cop: You chased her all over town until 2 in the morning . David: I care about her, that's what she is to me, she's somebody I care about. I think I'm in care with her.
David: This is it, no more fooling around, no more teasin, no more back and forth, pare that we all know is just are way of priming the pump, tonight it happens, tonight the itch is scratched.
David: Come on Maddie we're friends, the 2 musketeers, ham and legs.
 
MADDIE'S TURN TO CRY
Maddie: I hate you David Addison.  David:  I know, I hate you too Maddie Hays.
 Maddie: Yeah there's really a Sam. Agnes: Is he really terrific?  Maddie: The truth is Miss Dipesto, their both really terrific.
 
I AM CURIOUS...MADDIE
Maddie: "how do you feel about me?" speech
Maddie: I love you Sam, you have to know that, but I love him too.
Agnes: Mr. Addison says you can lead a horse to water but that doesn't make him a duck.
David: I'm being honest, I don't have to say it, you know it and I know it, you feel it and I feel it.

TO HEIRESS HUMAN

Maddie: As usual the depth of  your sensitivity is staggering.
David: I'm just not quite there yet.   Maddie: It takes time. there's a big part of me that can't help wanting to find that spot on your neck. Maddie: What spot.  
Maddie: I think this conversation is taking a turn.
Maddie: I think we need a new pact.
Maddie: And here we are, why does this keep happening? David: The same reason Christmas keeps happening, because it's terrific, that's why.
David: What's wrong with something that's good for right now.  Maddie: Is that what I am just the best thing you can find for the moment?  That's a load of crap.  David:  Excuse me? Maddie: Your crazy about me and not for tonight, not for next week, I'm going to be under your skin for a long time buster and you know it.

 

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